


About The Author

by wildeisms



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Autistic Newt Scamander, M/M, Transgender Newt Scamander, discussion of sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-03
Updated: 2017-04-03
Packaged: 2018-10-14 06:04:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10530429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildeisms/pseuds/wildeisms
Summary: Newt has some difficulties writing his author biography.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is basically a procrastination fic. And the thing I was avoiding working on was a different fic, so I don't know what that says about me.

Newt let out a frustrated groan as he crossed out yet another sentence, then threw his quill down on the desk. After writing so much about magical creatures that his book had required a rather substantial amount of editing before it was ready for publication, it shouldn’t have been a challenge to compose a single paragraph about himself. It shouldn’t have been, but it really was. 

His attempts were staring up at him from his parchment, almost as if they were mocking him, taking up so much of his attention that he didn’t even notice Jacob approaching behind him until he put a hand on Newt’s shoulder.

“You okay, baby?” he asked, and Newt was glad of the excuse to look away from the taunting parchment to the sweet face of his lover. 

“I’m fine. I’m just having a little difficulty with this section of my book.”

“Oh, yeah? What’ve you got so far?”

“‘Newt Scamander is a British magizoologist’,” Newt read out with a sigh. “That’s it. I don’t even see why I need a biography in there. My book is about magical creatures, not me.”

“Hmm. How about ‘Newt Scamander is an incredibly sexy British magizoologist who has travelled the world researching magical creatures and breaking hearts’ as an opener?” Jacob suggested.

“I’m not going to say that I’m incredibly sexy! And I haven’t broken any hearts,” Newt said, and he could feel his cheeks heating up yet again. It was downright embarrassing just how much he could blush and how easy it was to set him off.

“Well, you  _ are _ incredibly sexy,” Jacob chuckled, leaning down to kiss him quickly. “But I guess there’ll be a picture, so everyone can see that pretty face for themselves and fall in love with you, just like I did.”

It should be criminal for one man to be so charming. No wonder everyone liked Jacob so much. It was impossible not to when he was so very sweet and so devastatingly handsome. Newt had been powerless to it, he couldn’t have stopped himself from becoming absolutely smitten if he’d tried. 

“You could even say you’re a fantastic beast yourself,” Jacob continued, and Newt let out a startled laugh as if he had just downed a glass of giggle water, his infernal blush darkening so much that he had to hide his face in his hands

“Jacob!” he whined, glad that his lover couldn’t see the involuntary smile on his face. That would only encourage him.

The man himself was laughing too now, a laugh that made Newt’s insides warm with affection. “Never mind a biography, you should add a whole chapter on the fantastic beast that is Newt Scamander. I think I could do pretty good writing that one.”

“You have been researching rather extensively,” Newt agreed. He dared to remove his hands from his face, if only to glance up at Jacob.

“Damn right.” He switched to what was perhaps, if Newt pretended he had never heard an English accent before, an imitation of Newt’s own speech patterns. “The Newt Scamander is a fascinating and incredibly rare beast. His appearance is characterised by a mop of gorgeous red hair and a whole load of freckles, which can be found pretty much all over his body.”

“Is that accent supposed to resemble English or have you just invented a new country?” Newt asked with a giggle, and Jacob shot him a mock scandalised look.

“Hey, it’s dead on! And don’t interrupt,” he said in his normal voice - which was definitely preferable, Newt really did like Jacob’s accent - before switching straight back into that awful imitation. “When he’s embarrassed, the Newt turns a real pretty pink. His natural habitat is his suitcase, which he made all by himself because he’s a crazy talented wizard who likes to carry a whole zoo around with him. Having studied the Newt closely, I can confirm that his mating behaviour is sexy as hell and surprisingly dirty, especially when I lick his-”

At these words, Newt’s blush was back in full force. “That is really not how sections on mating habits are written…” he insisted, cutting across Jacob with a quiet yet firm tone.

“Oh, yeah? Well, how would you put it then?” Jacob asked with a wicked grin. “Go on, I really wanna know.”

“I… Well, I suppose… The Newt Scamander does not mate for procreation, but for pleasure. He- He is often vocal during this process, which seems to appeal to his mate. The, um, sessions can last anywhere between ten minutes and several hours, during which time several orgasms will occur.”

“Ooh, tell me more,” Jacob cooed, raising his eyebrow and smirking in the way that always made Newt giggle.

It was entirely ridiculous, not to mention embarrassing, but he continued anyway. “During certain lengthy sessions, the Newt’s mate, a remarkably beautiful beast known as Jacob Kowalski, will stimulate the Newt’s body to the point where it would be physically impossible for him to have any more orgasms. The record, I believe, is six, at which point he was so sore and so very exhausted that another may have killed him.”

“Seven, actually,” Jacob corrected, and it was impossible not to notice the pride in his voice at that particular fact. Not that Newt could blame him, though. He himself was quite proud of the four he had managed to elicit from Jacob in that session, particularly when his lover wasn’t as prone to multiple orgasms. “Damn, that was a good day.”

“Mm… We should take another day off sometime soon,” Newt agreed. Just remembering it sent a little coil of heat through his body. He really had done an excellent job making Newt feel good in every way. Admittedly, he didn’t really have anyone to compare Jacob to, but he was still convinced that his lover was above averagely proficient. Particularly with his tongue. His tongue was definitely some type of magical - that was the only possible explanation for the things that it did to him. Not to mention how exquisitely beautiful Jacob looked with his face buried between Newt’s legs. And when he added his fingers too, that alone could give him two consecutive orgasms if he kept at it, and if he hit the right spots… Well, let’s just say that he needed to cast a cleaning charm on the sheets afterwards. He had known he was capable but all the same, the first time it had happened in front of Jacob, Newt had been mortified. That was, until Jacob had assured him in no uncertain terms that he had liked it. At first, Newt had been surprised by that particular fact. But he supposed it made sense. He loved it when Jacob ejaculated, after all. It was different, but he supposed it could be seen as equivalent. And it certainly felt good for him, so who was he to dismiss a good thing? A very good thing, which was now at the very forefront of his mind.

And apparently, that was obvious. “What’re you thinking about?” Jacob asked with a faint smirk, his hand trailing down over Newt’s chest.

“You, doing that thing with your tongue and your fingers that makes me feel like I’m going to explode,” Newt replied. His blood seemed to be torn between rushing to his face and to his crotch as he rose from his chair, turned to face Jacob and wrapped his arms around his middle. 

“You wanna go to bed?” Jacob asked in a low, smooth voice that Newt could practically feel deep down inside him. 

“Please,” Newt murmured.

And although he had promised to send off his finished work by the end of the day, he didn’t touch it again until the next morning.


End file.
